Snob, Introvert, Anti-social, Indifferent have all been used endlessly to describe me not necessarily in that order. Translation- You are not friendly, caring or loving enough. So all my life I tried to talk more, be nicer, laugh out loud at lame jokes and pretend to actually listen to the endless rantings of self-inflicted problems. Don’t get me wrong but there’s an unwritten rule-in my head at least, where you need to handle certain issues at a personal level.
I fake-laughed harder and raised my eye-contact game but to a level where it started being creepy not to mention intimidating.
Everyone was in love with this diluted version of myself until I met an equally snobby, introverted, anti-social and indifferent person. The relief upon realization that you can finally be yourself; its like Steve Harvey declaring you’ll live right after he said you have a week to live :).
Sometimes things fall in place.The need to be a people-pleaser fades. Knowing who you are and embracing it simply opens you up to people who are more like you. You develop that special bond and foster a relationship which confuses the hell out of everybody. Just the other day someone asked, “How do you even have a conversation with Dave?”
“I don’t know what its like not to have a conversation with Dave,” I replied
Losing yourself to meet someone else’s expectations-worst thing ever.